The Untold Berlin Story: From Marketing Exec to WILDLY SUCCESSFUL HEALER and the in between!
The Untold Berlin Story – Transcript
Let’s try that again. . Hello. Good morning. Happy Monday. It is your girl, Michelle Keinan, also known as the Have It All Queen. I’m so excited to be here. Uh, it’s a different vibe because it’s morning. Usually I go live later and it’s a Monday morning. And I remember a time in my life when, um, I hated Mondays, when I had the Sunday scaries, the dread on Sunday, like, ugh.
Monday I used to work at a job where I had to have. Phones. I had my personal phone. I had a Blackberry from my boss and I had an iPhone. Remember Blackberries y’all. Um, and I would be emailing at like 11 at night, 12 at night, one in the morning, just like work. So stressful, so important, such bullshit. Now that I, I know that now.
Um, and I am joining you this morning because I’m actually gonna go offline for the rest of the day. Um, it’s so funny to. Who I am now sometimes, because I was, I was talking, talking to somebody and they’re like, you’re a somatic therapist. What? So I realized, right, these past few days have been sharing a lot of my journey with you.
Um, and it’s all culminating on my birthday in two days on January 18th with a big announcement and a big free gift that I’m gonna be releasing to everybody in my world. I’m so excited. I’ve been working on it for a year. Let me know if you’re excited to, or also drop a comment that says, gift or Shoot me a DM with the word gift, if you wanna make sure that you get a copy of that.
Mm-hmm. , it’s gonna be so good. Um, of like my journey, right? Because I wasn’t always a healer and I wasn’t always, uh, a mentor for women. And, you know, I am the daughter of Russian Jewish immigrant refugees. And, um, they had a, my family had a pretty clear path for what I was supposed to do and who I was supposed to be.
Things like, Supposed to join a sorority, and I was supposed to wear pearls and I was supposed to be an engineer or a lawyer, and I was supposed to play the piano and I was supposed to straighten my hair, and I was supposed to marry a nice Jewish boy, and just so many supposed tos and shoulds. Um, and if you’ve had that experience, if you know what I’m talking about, you can just do an mm-hmm.
in the comments because I know I’m not alone. Um, so many of. Have all of these supposed tos. And I wanted to share the part of my life where I was finally just like, fuck this. Like, I’m not doing supposed to anymore. I’m not doing should anymore. I’m doing whatever the fuck I want, whatever turns me on. And that’s not just a sexual thing.
If you’re new in my world, whatever gives me, um, energy, excitement, inspiration, and how I’ve committed. My life to that what’s happened in my life because of that commitment and what’s happened to my clients because of that commitment too. So this is the part of my chapter that is all about when I gave the middle finger to corporate America, I left my very cushy multiple six figure job.
At a big global beauty brand, uh, with my corner office, with my expense account and my beauty closet full of free products from a company that everybody loves. And I was just like, I’m done. I left my perfect New York City apartment. Um, I had ended the perfect relationship with the perfect on paper guy, wasn’t the right guy for me.
Um, I left this job, which was paying me great money, which had such a prestigious title, but like, . I was just suffering in every day. Right? And I know I’m not alone. There’s so many women, whether it’s your job or your marriage or being a mom or. Or just being good, being a good girl in your life, that you’re doing so many things that you’re just like suffering in because you’re supposed to do them well.
This is what life looks like when you stop doing all of those things. And so, um, I had this epic Saturn returns. If anyone else has had an epic Saturn returns, let me know. If you don’t know what that is, let me know in the comments. It’s when your life, when you, you really let go and you follow what you’re meant to be doing, you follow your intuition.
Ooh girl. Everything just goes so gangbusters for you. And I’m such an expert at helping women through their Saturn returns too. So, and I said, that’s it. I’m moving to Berlin. I’m leaving New York City. New York City is over. Like, I am not happy anymore. I don’t care about making all this money anymore. I can buy whatever I want.
I can do whatever I want. And, , I’m still not fulfilled. There’s still this like aching hole inside of me. And so I made this decision. I, I took a trip right before, actually the week after I met my, my now husband, because back then when we met, oh, it was just gonna be a fling. It wasn’t gonna be anything serious.
We weren’t supposed to be in love and get married and all that kind of stuff. Well supposed to right? . Um, and I was like, I’m going to Berlin. and I went to this amazing, amazing, super cool city that was just calling my heart. And do you know those serendipities, like when you’re supposed to do something or you’re looking forward to something, you start to see it everywhere?
Well, everywhere I would go in New York City, I would see this graffiti that said Berlin, or I’d see a sticker that said Berlin or. Me and Dan were taking a, a road trip and we drove through a town called Berlin, Maryland. Like all that stuff was showing up, and I believe in serendipities. And if you’re seeing those things, if you want something looking for proof and affirmation that it’s around you definitely do that.
And definitely check in, like register that energetic. Oh, and didn’t even say like, hello. And if you’re here, say Hi. Let me know that you’re here, and if you’re catching the replay, do hashtag replay. and I’ll come back and we’ll party and I’ll answer all your questions and we’ll talk about what life looks like when you do whatever the fuck you want.
So this is my example of that. And I went to Berlin because I knew that I wanted to be. A somatic therapist. I knew I wanted to be a healer. And when I was in New York City, one of the biggest things that took me from being like, you know, as much of a rebel as I was born to be, I was still pretty traditional, right?
Like I, you know, got a, went to a good college and I got a good paying job and I had a nice apartment and I had a good relationship. But, um, who I was at these jobs Hmm. I didn’t really like, fit in. Like I definitely got sent home multiple times for my provocative. Outfits, AKA. They thought I was too slutty to meet clients,
And I remember once working at an agency, a marketing agency, and they wouldn’t let me pitch my work because, um, my boss said that my earrings were too jangly and too distracting. Fuck you, Greg. All right. I wear whatever I want now. I do lives from the bathtub, like we, we do breast massage, with some of my clients.
Like I do whatever I want. I wear whatever I want, like my brass straps are showing. I don’t give a shit anymore because the more that I’m me and the more that I’m following what. It feels good for me and just being in full acceptance and approval. The more I get everything, the more I attract all of the people that love my energy, that love me for me, that wanna be around me for the full version of me, and not this way that so many of us are taught to like pretend, or to behave so that people will like us.
Because then what happens, right, is you’re surrounded. People or you’re living this life where everybody that’s attracted to you or wants to be around you is around this false or this limited constricted version of you and that really fucks with your head. So, um, life hack, be your full, unapologetic self, which is one of the things that, um, I teach my clients how to be your, like Sasha Fierce, Beyonce level you, and be fucking loved and paid and adored and supported and rewarded for all of.
and um, and so the more that I was me, the more I didn’t fit into corporate America, the more that I didn’t fit into the way that other people did things. And so it finally just got to this point where the way that I wanted to live my life and what I wanted to do, it just didn’t fit into those structures around me.
So I was like, I’m moving to Berlin, and I got to Berlin, and it was. . Amazing. Wow. It was such a magical trip. And I got to my somatic therapy school and I did an interview with one of the founding teachers, and she was like, mm, you’re not ready for this. Like, I can’t accept you. And I was like, oh yeah, bitch.
So little did she know. I decided, I was like, I’m coming back in a year when the new class starts and I’m showing up and she’s gonna let me in. So that whole year I had the best time in Berlin and I was like, this is my city. I’m moving. That whole year I started saving up money and just the plan was, I’m quitting my job in a year with no safety net.
I’m moving to Berlin. I’m showing up at this school. They better be letting me in or, or else. And so I did that. I spent this my last year in New York, just like feeling like ready to say goodbye. Spent this last year in New York really falling in love with. Stan, who’s now my husband, and with this idea that, you know what, in a year this is over, this is just fun.
Like why are we falling in love? Like I hate you. And if, if you guys don’t know that story, you can watch the last life that I did . That’s how my very untraditional yet extremely traditional relationship with my husband. Um, that’s a fascinating story too, of what it looks like to have conscious partnership, but.
And so the day came, I was like, I’m leaving. My parents thought I was insane, right? Refugees are like immigrants that they come here to like for safety and for security and to build their future. They’re like, you’re leaving your multiple six figure job, like you’re leaving the security, you’re leaving your future like to go to healing school, and they were like, you’re joining a cult.
You’re crazy. There was like interventions. There was like all the things, and I really just had to stay true to who I was and what I wanted. Follow that vision, follow that desire, like this is where I wanna be. And I, in New York, I b I joined a women’s group and I had a really incredible teacher and I was learning so much about somatics, which is the body and emotions and being around other women and healing my sisterhood wound, all this stuff that I didn’t know because when you grow up the, you know, well, I guess when you grow up in any family that isn’t tapped into that stuff, but especially a family that, an immigrant family.
Needs to work and needs to settle and needs to build. There’s no time for these conversations. There’s no vocabulary for these conversations or awareness or like anything like that. Um, I had to learn all that stuff for myself. So don’t think I grew up in some like hippie commune where we used to talk about our feelings.
My family thought I was totally bad. Shit, like insane. They didn’t want my emotions. They didn’t wanna talk about healing. They didn’t wanna do shadow stuff. They. Yeah. Yeah. Right. And so it’s really like a testament to connecting to not only your apologetic self, right, but also unleashing your unstoppable desire.
Like just getting fucking clear on this is what I want, this is what I want, and letting that desire, that energy inside of you, guide you. Right? These are the principles of what I teach all of my clients This. The way that all my clients live their life so that they’re actually not only being fully like who they are and loving themselves for, even if other people don’t understand, but also doing what they want and being clear about what they want.
So you’re finding that you have this life where everything around you is. what you want, right? Those are the choices that you’re making. That’s the way that you’re living. Those are the places that you’re visiting. Those are the people that you’re hanging out with. Those are the opportunities that you’re taking.
That’s the money that you’re making. It’s everything that you want. Hmm. And that’s so freaking good. There’s so much energy there. Nothing gets blocked, right? Because when you’re doing things you don’t wanna do, right? If you’re showing up your, your job that you hate for your boss that you don’t like, or if.
Your experience of motherhood or the way that you have your partnership with your husband just doesn’t feel good. Like feel that energy. She’s like, Ugh. And you constrict. You do things in your body to block, to hold yourself back, to not say the thing that you really wanna say, to not be the person that you really wanna be, not to do the actions that you really wanna do.
Because what happens? You get scared, right? I’m scared. Life’s gonna fall apart, my relationship’s gonna fall apart, nobody’s gonna love me. And it’s just so the opposite. It’s a hundred percent the opposite. That when you finally start to do those things, be a hundred percent clear. You claim your desire, you, you unleash it, you let it out, you speak about it, you want it unapologetically, guess what?
Like you get more and more of that stuff. And when you are rooted in your unapologetic sell, even if people don’t understand. Ain’t nothing. You still do you, and they watch and they learn, right? Instead of you having to talk them into it or convince them, they learn like, oh, okay, this is, this is how it’s done.
Like I, most people, right? Our parents don’t know how to do that, or they had other things that they needed to do. But you have a different option. If you’re watching this video, you have other options and possibilities, so make sure that you’re not living in your parents’ mindset like I was for so many years, like so many of my clients did before they started working with me.
Anyway, so had the best year in Berlin, came back, I sorry, had the best time in Berlin. Came back to New York for a year to close out my New York chapter, and I was like, I’m moving to Berlin. And my whole energy was different by the way. When I got back to New York, everybody was like, what is going on with you?
Like you are? Fire you are just like lit up. You are so fun. Like your performance at work is so good and it’s because right when you’re on the track to doing what you really want, hmm. That’s the vibe inside of you, right? That is the energy inside of you. And so that whole year in New York was so good cuz it was all the culmination towards me moving to Berlin and I sh I got to Berlin and it was.
it was like magic. Um, I sublet this beautiful apartment on this gorgeous canal from this really cute, really nice guy. And, um, I, I showed up at my somatic therapy school and I was like, all right, I’m here. You gotta let me in cuz like, I moved here from New York even though you didn’t officially accept me.
So like, let me in. And the teacher took a chance on me, right? She’s like, all right, I see that you really want this, like, you’re really serious about this. And so I did that and. I went to yoga every day. I would literally walk around the streets crying from gratitude. I was so happy. Like, that’s what it feels like to, to leave, not, not just to leave your life cuz you don’t actually have to leave your life, but to start doing what you wanna do, right?
That’s, and, and you can do that by the way, in your current job, in your current relationship with your current children. You don’t have to leave everybody behind. And that’s really like what I teach, um, my clients, how to do, how to have it all. every aspect of your life. Right. And so for a year, that first year for three years, right?
I was in somatic therapy school and I learned so much. Wow. Being a marketing executive, working in corporate America versus being a healer, being connected to your body, like that’s a trip. Like touching every part of your heart, like all of your wounds, all of your shame. Learning how to hold space for myself in that so that I could hold space for my clients, for other people in that, because what happens when you feel all that stuff, when you give yourself permission, it’s like alchemy.
It’s it’s magic. Like all that stuff stops holding you back. All that stuff stops being weight or bad things about you or reasons why you’re not worthy or why you can’t, or why. No one’s gonna show up for you or, and I’m still working through those things. , but it just, it doesn’t, it’s not so heavy. It’s not so scary.
Like, as an example, it’s my birthday, um, in two days. And usually I would self-sabotage, uh, myself because I’d always wanna party. But I have a wound, um, around being invited or being rejected like a lot of us do. And so what I would do for most years is I’d wanna party, but I wouldn’t get my act together to set a date or invite people until it was too late.
And then I’d invite people, and then of course, like nobody could. Right. Like, oh, sorry, we’re busy, sorry. And I’d be like, see, nobody shows up for me. Nobody wants to be there for me. But now, right, this is one of the things that I’ve let go, is that I invite people just with my heart. Like I invite my clients to work with me.
I invite you to watch my videos to DM me, like. Without the fear of you rejecting me or not wanting me, or even if there is that fear, I don’t care because my desire to be connected with you, my desire to celebrate with you, my desire to have a relationship and to share my gift and to grow with you is greater than my fear or my pain of, oh, nobody loves me and so many of us, we don’t do the.
We don’t show up unapologetically. We don’t say what we really want. We don’t go after it fully, whatever our dreams are because we’re afraid of being hurt. Right? I was talking to the one of my clients and she was like, but what if it doesn’t happen? Right? And this is where I always share one of my favorite lines from this Pit Bull and J Lo song that if you reach for the stars, even if you don’t, , you still fall on top of the world that yeah, sometimes there is disappointment.
Sometimes you don’t get that big thing, but guess what? You are so much further along. You are so much closer, so many other amazing, amazing things happen as you’re on the journey to that thing, or actually even better than you could possibly imagine. That’s, which is something that I love, like all of the surprises and gifts and things that you don’t even realize are gonna happen.
Anyway, one of those things is I’m going to a special ceremony this morning, so I’m signing off after this live. I have a beautiful sister circle that I’m a part of, and we do medicine ceremonies together, and it’s a birthday celebration for me today and for another sister who’s also at Capricorn. So that’s filling my heart.
Um, on Wednesday, it’s my birthday and I’m sharing a huge gift with all of you guys. Um, and so I’m so excited. On Friday night, I’m having a birthday party for my friends and so many people are coming. Saturday morning, we’re going to Miami and I’m so excited. I’m gonna celebrate with my family that lives down there and, um,
And I just wanted to say that like doing this work, like, you know, you don’t have to become a healer. You don’t have to le leave your life, you don’t have to have years of therapy with your husband. You, you can have this experience, you can make everything in your life exactly what you want it to be. But the most important thing is, is what do you want?
I ask so many women this, and a lot of women are scared or they don’t know. We’ve, we’ve been so disconnected from what we really want. and this is your invitation now to, to claim it or even to say, I don’t know what I want, but I want more than this, or I wanna feel different. And not to feel bad about that and not to feel guilty about that, even if everything’s perfect on paper.
Even everything looks great in your social media photos. Like if there’s that desire in you, it’s leading you towards something. Your desire is an energy that’s leading you towards something. For you, and I want you to have that. I want you to have that greatness. I want you to have what you want because that’s how you live this life.
That feels like a total yes. That feels like total satisfaction. That feels like so good. All right, I gotta go. God is sending me a message on my phone is disconnecting my , my internet. Cause it’s time for me to go to my ceremony. I love you guys. I’ll be back on tomorrow with a lot more. Um, especially a lot more downloads from the ceremony that I’m about to do.
If you wanna chat with me about anything that I shared, please leave me a comment below and say, chat with me or shoot me a dm if you want this free gift that I’m launching. Leave a comment that says gift or shoot me a DM that says gift. Um, it’s just such a privilege and an honor to share my story with you.
Um, you know, since I became a somatic healer, I also. I’m a neurolinguistic programming practitioner. I do embodiment work, mindset work, emotional work, shadow work. So many beautiful things with my clients. And it’s just my honor to, um, to share all my gifts with you and my, my journey with you. So love you guys.
I’ll see you back here tomorrow and, um, get ready for my birthday, January 18th. Love you. Bye