The Most Successful Failure Ever – Transcript

oh yes hello hello everybody hi
so good to be back it’s
your Michelle Kanan I’m also known as
the have it all Queen and I’m here am I
sassy energy today y’all had an epic
photo shoot
still got my makeup oh I got my
eyelashes going on my outfit and I am
here today it’s day two of me sharing
the real real with you uh the real and
raw behind the scenes of how I came to
be the Habit all Queen and
um today is
is a really
um interesting day uh where I’m going to
be sharing with you
something that I know that so many women
go through right and where we like have
all the things right like everything’s
fine everything’s good right we live in
nice places and we have a cute family
and we’re like moving on up in our
career we’re like going after our goals
like we’re making money we’re buying
nice things for ourselves and so like we
have all those external things or those
things around us but
on the inside it still feels like
there’s something missing right like
we’re chasing something or like it’s
never enough or if we’re just gonna hit
one more goal or get one more thing or
one more accomplishment one more
promotion one more sale one more kid one
more whatever ah then we can relax and
then we can be happy
I want to speak to this today because
I went through this in my life I thought
I had it all earlier in my life and I
did I had all the things on the outside
but not on the inside I didn’t feel the
way that I wanted I feel so before we’re
diving in I see people are popping on so
hi say hello if you’re here let me know
if you’re catching me live and if you
are catching the replay let me know if
you’re here for the after party do
hashtag replay after party uh and I’ll
come back and I’ll chat with you guys
answer any questions just like get in
the vibe with all of you and remember I
am
um releasing a really amazing gift on my
birthday which is January 18th which is
Wednesday so if you know that you want
that gift just
um leave a comment that says gift or
shoot me a DM so that my team knows to
get it to you it’s something that I’ve
been working on all of last year
everything to this moment it’s so
exciting it’s so major it’s very special
and I want to give it to my community so
it’s getting released next week but let
me know if you want it and I’ll make
sure that you’re on the list and you’ll
be the first to get it oh girl all right
all right so this is a video for all of
you guys this you guys are my community
you guys are important to me my
relationships with you are so important
to me and um and so I have like these
real conversations with you guys about
what it takes to have it all right I’m
the have it all queen that says it right
there right but like what does that mean
and honestly like who cares because so
many people out there have it all but
they don’t feel good right like it
doesn’t feel the way that you wanted to
or you think oh once I have those things
it’s gonna feel amazing and yet it
doesn’t right it feels like it never
ends and um I went through this you know
yesterday I was talking to you guys
about
how I was born a rebel I never even
thought it was a rebel I just always
sort of did things my own way and I
guess that makes you a rebel in this
Society where you’re supposed to do
things like according to like the plan
or the way that your parents expect you
to do things or whatever I know that you
guys have this experience if you relate
like leave a comment if you haven’t seen
that video you can um catch it on my
profile and I I thought that I was being
rebellious I thought I was doing my own
thing I thought I was like forging my
own path and yet I found myself in my
20s
um actually like doing a really safe
thing which was getting a really good
job and making really good money and
okay I wasn’t like a lawyer or a doctor
or like what my parents wanted me to be
right but like the reason they wanted
you know the reason our parents want us
to get good jobs and get married and all
that stuff ready so that we’re safe and
that we’re taken care of and so that
their minds can relax like oh okay she’s
on the path everything’s okay she’s like
everything is I don’t have to worry
about her so much like she’s going down
a good route and so I ended up actually
hey Lindsay I ended up actually going
down that path that good route like be
ended up being a good girl anyway as
much as I took my own path to get there
and um by the time I was in my 20s I had
this Fabulous Life in New York City I
had this incredible job working at like
a huge multinational company I had a
corner office I was making multiple six
figures I could buy whatever I wanted I
had money in my savings account my
closet was full of designer shoes and
purses and dresses I went out to eat all
the time I was a member of like the
fanciest gym like I was traveling
whenever I wanted to like basically you
could look at my life back then and be
like oh she had it all and I thought I
had it all too right that’s what we’re
taught those markers of success like the
money that you make or the things that
you can buy or your title at work or
like the company that you work out it’s
all like Prestige right and I had all
those things and but there was something
inside of me right there was this
feeling inside of me of like no this
isn’t enough you need more you need more
so what did I do like I’d work harder
I’d get more promotions I’d make more
money I’d buy more stuff like I travel
to more places like I kept trying to do
more right and so many successful women
that’s that’s the impulse right like I
gotta do more right there’s more to
achieve there’s more to accomplish
there’s more that can be done like let
me just do more let me just have more
and I’ll feel better or I’ll be able to
relax but that’s such a trap right and I
was in that trap too until finally one
day right I realized like what I was
doing because okay I guess I still am a
rebel is I think I was doing quiet
quitting before the quiet quitting was a
thing I was working at this incredible
skin care company
um This Global skincare company and I
would come in the morning I would do my
emails and then I would like sneak out
and I would go do yoga and I would go
meet friends for lunch and I would go
like walk around the city and then I
would like sneak back in before the end
of the day and be there when like my
boss has made their rounds and like get
all my work done right like just so that
I could you know be doing a good job but
it’s not what I wanted to do right I was
showing up and I was spending all of
these hours in this office at this job
like in this position that I just I
didn’t want it right like it just didn’t
fill me up it didn’t give me what I
wanted or what I needed even though it
was the right thing even though I was
making tons of money even though
everyone was like oh I killed a work
there I’d kill for that job that company
is so cool that brand is so amazing I’m
not saying that brand out loud because I
don’t want them to know what I was doing
oh I was slacking up well even though it
was like over 12 years ago at this point
but
anyway I had this moment with myself
where I just couldn’t do it
anymore right and oh my God is it
pouring outside
pouring outside amazing it’s huge storm
is going on right now amazing I had this
moment with myself where I realized I
couldn’t do it anymore I
couldn’t keep showing up and putting on
a face and putting my energy into
something that I just didn’t that just
didn’t fill me up that just didn’t feel
good I had to do what I wanted to do
right and so many women out there it’s
like I just want to give you permission
I just want you to understand that if
you feel unfulfilled even though you
have all the things like
girl you’re not alone right like you’ve
been taught we’ve all been pressured
into doing things a certain way being a
certain way needing to be fulfilled or
happy by having certain things in life
that everyone else is telling you like
that’s what should make you happy like
that’s what you should be doing this is
the right path this is the right move
this is the right salary this is the
right job and if you have it all if you
have all of those things and you’re
still feeling unfulfilled like it’s
totally okay and I don’t want you to
feel guilty about it and I don’t want
you to feel bad about it there’s a
reason why you feel that way there’s a
reason why and it’s because even if
you’re doing all the right things even
if you have that right job even if you
have that right the the right clothes or
that you’re you know trying to act a
certain way or make a certain amount of
money and you don’t feel fulfilled is
because something inside of you is out
of alignment you are out of alignment
with what you’re trying to create rate
on the outside and instead of doing the
process of okay well what is that
because it might be scary to go in there
and be like wait hold on all this stuff
that I built and that I worked hard for
it’s not actually what I want like ah la
la la I don’t want to listen to that
right what most women do is they just
get busier and they focus more on what
problems there are outside that they can
fix or that they can change or and they
just are doing more they’re adding more
to their to-do list so many women are
running away from this truth inside of
you this truth that’s saying like hey
this life this life that everyone told
me is the right way is like the good
thing is the safe thing is the thing
that’s going to lead me to happiness or
to be able to relax it’s actually not it
so if you’re watching this video hey
permission permission and welcome right
you’re not alone like I went through
this luckily I went through this when I
was much younger and I realized this and
I had this moment with myself otherwise
for the next 20 years I could have been
stuck in this job in this life that was
supposed to make me happy even this
relationship I was dating the perfect
guy on paper okay he was tall he was
making money he was Jewish so my parents
were very happy about that we were
supposed to get married but it just
never felt like what I really
wanted and what would really make me
happy and it takes guts it takes bravery
for you to be Unapologetic about who you
are and to be Unapologetic about what
you really want even if at first you
might not even know right because
imagine you have all of the things right
like you should be happy what but I’m
not happy I’m not fulfilled with what’s
gonna what’s gonna make me happy I don’t
know hi Maria oh yes I have all my photo
shoot makeup on the front today
right and like and I’m just I’m in
gratitude in this moment because I had
this beautiful day with my husband right
where entrepreneurs together we’ve had
our businesses for over 10 years at this
point he’s a trained photographer so he
was doing my new brand photos today and
we had this beautiful day with a fire
going making having a photo shoot I had
my makeup done this morning like in our
beautiful house where you know we just
make up our own schedules we do whatever
we want like and I never would have had
any of this stuff I never would be with
my husband I never would have this
amazing company that I have or other
companies that we have that if if I had
stayed in this path that was the right
thing that was the safe thing that was
the logical thing right because when
everyone around you is saying like well
this is the way that you do things hey
Jen
um when when this is the way that you’ve
been taught to do things right like
people you’re gonna think or people are
gonna make you think that you’re crazy
like how I was crazy easy my parents
literally thought I was insane for
quitting my multiple six-figure job and
and moving to Berlin to study healing
and that is a video that is something
I’m going to talk about in two days
um about how I got into healing and
spirituality I went from like corporate
power to like spiritual and mentor
and teacher and someone that like Works
to heal women I’m gonna talk about all
of that in a couple of days you know but
it takes
um doing something different
and it takes listening right even doing
something different I’m not here to tell
you like quit your job quit your
marriage like run away unless that’s
what you want to do but like you don’t
have to do that it can start with
listening to your heart listening to
that’s not even just your heart it’s
this inner wisdom it’s this intuition
it’s your higher self that knows what’s
right for you that knows what you want
and if you can listen to that if you can
give yourself permission to listen to
that voice instead of all the other
voices and all the other conditioning
out there what you’re gonna find is that
you’re going to start doing things in
your life that are in alignment with who
you want to be and how you want to live
and how you want to feel and it can be
these really small things that lead up
to like the bigger things right because
some of you are like I want to quit my
job and I want to make a million dollars
and I want to run away with my husband
or I want to have a totally different
relationship with your my husband and
yeah I’m in support of all of you
that want all of those things but how do
you get those things when you’re looking
at your life, when you’re sitting in your
life and you’re just like but what do I do? Like I feel stuck or I feel like I have to do these things. Or I have to be this person or else everything is going to fall apart. And what I want to tell you and I want to remind you is that it might not fall apart it might actually get to finally morph into something so incredible that is fully in alignment of and in support of who the you are and how you can be your best and how you can feel your best and how you can live a life and have a career or a job or a business or a family or a relationship.

or or um friendships or with your family of origin that are in total honoring of you like you deserve that okay and for most women out there you don’t know that you deserve that all you know is I better do these things in order to stay safe in order to be okay in order to provide for my kids in order to make my parents proud in order to fit into society and I want you know you can have both right that you can have the career that you want be the mom that you want or not even both have it all right hello you couldn’t have the career that you want you can be the mom that you want you can have the marriage that you want you can have the bank account that you want and it’s not some like magic manifesting like maybe like no it’s not about any of that although there is some magic that gets to play when you open yourself up but the first thing truly is understanding and listening to yourself like that’s the magic and I’m so glad that when I was in my 20s I was brave enough to not continue to push myself to do and be what I was supposed to do and be so that I could build this incredible life with the person that I love and have the family that I want and the structure and the freedom and the time and and if you’re not fulfilled in what you have right now you don’t have to destroy your life in order to have what you want that’s the first thing that I want to remind you and you can from any moment because my clients are all ages right I work with women in their 60s and their 70s and women in like their 30s their 40s like all ages and what I love about women when they finally come to work with me is because they’re ready to have it all in the way that they want and in a way that feels really good and that isn’t scary and where you really get to finally listen to the smartest that you know which is yourself that you’re finally brave enough and confident enough and connected enough and in love with yourself enough that you are the Guru you’re the the wise one and you finally get to listen all this that voice that’s been nudging you all along for where to go and what to do and who to talk to and what to call in and what to build and that’s how you have an incredible life that’s how you have uh have it all kind of life when you finally start to listen to those nudges whether they’re really big or if those really big ones are really scary and you’re not ready that’s totally okay we don’t want to destroy your nervous system right like we want you to jump when you’re ready we want you to make those choices when it’s time when you’re excited when you’re turned on when you’re inspired right so you can meet yourself where you’re at and start to listen to yourself right now and I hear my four-year-old downstairs singing she actually promised her that we would do a photo shoot with her when she came home from preschool so I’m gonna end this video in just a little bit but listen if you want to know more about this like I said I have this incredible free gift that I’m releasing on my birthday next week but if you know that you want it just drop a comment and say gift or send me a DM and say gift I want the series I’m gonna send you this incredible um oh I can’t even I’m not even allowed to talk too well yeah well my team is like don’t say it yet I’m going to send you this Incredible Gift that’s going to show you exactly how you get to have this in your life and I want you to know that every successful woman or every woman that you admire or the woman that you want to be everybody else listen to yourself the woman that you want to be is making choices in her life that honor who you are and what you want period your next level self that woman has made decisions and is taking actions and is speaking truths and thinking thoughts and showing up in a way that’s honoring what she wants what makes her feel good what makes her feel alive and inspired and anybody can do that it doesn’t matter how much money you have it doesn’t matter where you live it doesn’t matter like you know what your job is if you even have a job like everybody can do that wherever you are right now you can do that you also don’t have to be like in your 20s you could have a family you can have responsibilities and you can start to do that right now so if you need help with that if you want to talk to me more about that slide into my DMs super fun thing for me to talk about I love love connecting with women about this

yes Irene wants the gift amazing I love it I love seeing the comments come through like this is my passion this is my pleasure this is my movement this is my movement for all women to have absolutely everything that you want in life in the way that feels the best for you because who cares right like I often think like I see so many comments on social media from so many coaches about making you know 10K a month six figures a month a million dollar two million dollars who gives a right because I made that much money I was making multiple sixes and I had more money than I could spend and I was so unfulfilled and I was still searching and I thought oh maybe if I hit one more income goal maybe if I buy one more thing maybe if I have one more Adventure because it’s not about any of that stuff it’s never ending there’s always more money you can make more stuff stuff you can buy or things you can do more things that are going to keep you busy but the more that you’re focused on that the further away you’re pulling yourself from what that voice inside of you what does she want what is your Unapologetic self want I want to know actually leave me a comment or send me a DM I want to know like if you didn’t have to worry about disappointing anyone or or ruining anything or abandoning anyone if you weren’t afraid of everything falling apart like what would you go after and who would you be and like what would you do and what would you say what’s the truth of what you would say like that’s the kind of stuff that makes me excited and interesting those you’re the kind of woman that I want to connect with women that are ready ready to just speak it to put it out into existence to live it to have it to celebrate it to be bold to be excited to be well everything that you want to be and to have everything that you want to have and to live that way so all right I’m gonna go I have a little photo shoot with my daughter and have some fun with her I’m gonna be back tomorrow.

Tomorrow I’m going to be talking about my extremely untraditional relationship with my husband did you guys know that I proposed to him right I’m teaching about the feminine and I did a very taboo thing and I proposed my own husband I’m gonna tell you about that about our very untraditional relationship why it works why we are incredible partners that are in our zones of Genius together um what that looks like what that can look like in your in your life and in your relationship with your partner too thank you Irina thank you everybody like I’m having so much fun showing up every day and just giving you pieces of me you know like talking about my experience it’s not like I just woke up with a million dollars and had everything and I’m like oh I guess I’m just a have it all Queen let me just talk about that like you know yesterday I talked about my parents are refugees and immigrants I’m the very first American in my entire family like always out of place like we started it’s a started from the bottom now we’re here kind of situation and and that is just you know I know all of you are on that journey of like where you want to be and building your dream life and I’m just so honored and happy to be walking that path with you and that you’re here with me in this so I’m gonna go now if you guys can’t hear my daughter singing Disney princess songs they’re on my head they they live on my head red and free stuff all right guys I love you I’ll see you in the comments I’ll see you in my DMs I’ll see you back here tomorrow for another juicy live live and then I’ll see you on January 18th my birthday where we’re doing my big reveal my Rebrand reveal my amazing gift reveal is coming um but get on my list uh dma gift or leave a comment that says gift if you know that you want it already I’ll make sure that you get it ASAP love you guys I’ll talk to you tomorrow bye